Feeding Your Guests to Decrease Their Stress

“I am reluctant to have friends over for dinner,” my neighbor confided in me recently. “By the time we are finished with the main course, everyone at the table is arguing about politics or sports. Once I had two guests get so upset that they stopped talking to each other for almost a year. “

“Maybe it is what you serve,” I responded.

She looked offended.

“No,” I said quickly, “You misunderstood…your food is delicious. I wasn’t criticizing your cooking. But maybe you could alter the menu to decrease their agitation. “

Usually contentious dinners are limited to family occasions, most notably holiday celebrations when relatives who may not like each other are forced to eat at the same table. Avoidance of either the relative, or avoidance of topics offensive to said relative, is the strategy many take when forced to attend such gatherings. But having friends over for dinner used to mean assembling people who enjoyed each other’s company, with the presumed mutual goal of a pleasant evening of food and conversation. Now it seems that the conversation may have to be limited to traffic, weather and vacation travel, unless all the guests have exactly the same political views and love of the same sports teams.

But why resort to such vetting of the guests or the topics?  A better option is to feed the guests in such a way that they become mellow, patient with the opinions of others and, in general, agreeable.

Years ago, in a book I co-authored called Managing Your Mind and Mood with Food, I described the culinary strategy of the CEO of a large French pharmaceutical company. The research department often invited scientific consultants to discuss and evaluate research on new drugs. One of the CEO’s associates told me that the lunch menu was designed to induce a state of benign drowsiness in the scientists so they would be agreeable to anything the company might discuss in the afternoon session. Having been witness to the aftermath of some of these meals, I can attest to the success of the strategy.

This being Paris, the meal contained different wines for each course including brandy with coffee. There was always an appetizer, main course, salad, cheese course and then, unusual for Paris, an elegant cake or elaborate pastry, sometimes with ice cream.  Sauces rich in butter, cream and possibly egg yolks were poured over the entrée and sometimes the vegetables as well. The cheeses were 95% or higher in fat and the desserts sweet enough to make one welcome the mild bitterness of the tiny cups of espresso. (There certainly was not enough caffeine in those tiny cups to counteract the soporific effects of the meal.) Interestingly, the host the CEO drank only water, and nibbled at the food.

An American host would need a sizable kitchen staff to prepare such meals. Fortunately, altering the mood of the guests so they also become tranquil and agreeable can be accomplished with much less effort and food.

To do so requires knowing only two facts about food and mood: carbohydrates consumed with little or no protein will make serotonin, and leave most people feeling relaxed. Fat, which can be consumed with protein, carbohydrate or both, may make the diners mentally fatigued and sometimes even a little befuddled. Befuddled is not a good state for scientists or dinner guests to be in, so it is probably best to use carbohydrates to alter mood rather than bacon, butter, egg yolks, cream and high-fat cheeses. Curiously, our American habit of serving appetizers of cheese and crackers may inadvertently potentiate mellower moods because of the combination of fat (cheese) and carbohydrate (crackers). The wine or other drinks will (usually) add to the relaxation effect.

Perhaps the ideal sequence of foods to produce happy, enjoyable guests is to be found in Italian homes. Carbohydrate, as in pasta and sometimes polenta, is usually served a first course. The amount is small, unlike American-size portions, but certainly contains at least the 30 grams of carbohydrate that must be consumed in order for serotonin to be made.  Because the pasta is eaten first, the eater benefits not only from the mood-soothing effects of serotonin but, in a value added sort of way, the beginnings of satiety as well.  This means that when the small portion of protein is served as a second course, it will not be viewed as too small, because the eater is already feeling a little full. Bread and wine accompanies the meal, and presumably even if arguments occur at the dinner table, there is enough serotonin being made to keep the arguments from becoming contentious.

Alas, our American avoidance of carbohydrates, and this incorrect insistence that eating copious amounts of protein may have the opposite effect on our temperament. Eating protein inhibits serotonin from being made because it prevents the amino acid tryptophan from getting into the brain (tryptophan being this from which serotonin is made.) Is it possible that our moods are deteriorating because we are not eating enough carbohydrates?

Eating carbohydrates to improve the group mood does not have to be restricted to your dinner guests. There are work environments so stressful that, as one employee told me; it feels as if her flight or fight responses are going off and on all day. “I am sure it is not healthy to be working in such a stressful culture where people think it is all right to continually shout, demand, berate, and insult those beneath them, “ she told me.

Would carbohydrates help? Apparently, no one in that volatile office touches them because not being fat is mandatory (unspoken), and everyone is convinced that eating a piece of bread will cause them to gain weight. What they don’t realize is that eating a piece of bread or a cup of breakfast cereal might make them a little less abrasive, and perhaps a little kinder. And that is a good thing.

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