Surgical interventions to reduce the size of the stomach are increasing in popularity, predominantly because they have been successful in reversing years of dieting failures. Patients who have had these procedures, however, may find themselves struggling to deal with the excessive amounts of food commonly served on Thanksgiving. Although Thanksgiving is still a day when we pause in our daily lives to be grateful for what we have, including food, health, family and friends, the holiday sometimes seems to be almost exclusively concerned with only the food. Judging by the number of media articles and television shows advising us on recipes and methods of cooking, sometimes it seems that the purpose of the holiday is to see how successful we are in preparing the meal.
The amount of food served on Thanksgiving Day must resemble a feast. If the host decides that the turkey, two vegetables and just one dessert are sufficient, he or she will be regarded as a food miser. “What are you making for Thanksgiving?” is the greeting of the week before turkey day, and guests often arrive with dishes to supplement the many made by the host. One young woman who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner for the family for the first time was gently reminded that her dinner plates were not sufficiently large to contain all the side dishes she thought she had to prepare.
The typical guest, confronted with all that food, manages to eat much more than the amount he or she would normally consume at a dinner meal. Despite protestations of feeling too stuffed to eat another bite after the main course has been consumed, most will manage somehow to sample at least a couple of pies when dessert is served.
But what if the guest does not have considerable room in his or her stomach to eat the many dishes being offered? What if the guest has had bariatric surgery to reduce the size of the stomach, and now it can hold no more than a couple of ounces of food at one time? The point of the surgery is to make the stomach so small that the patient, eating only tiny amounts of food, will lose weight.
What makes an occasion like Thanksgiving so difficult for those who have had this surgery is that for years, they were able to eat whatever they wanted, and as much as they wanted. Even though they know it is physically impossible now for them to do so, emotionally this may be hard to accept. I wonder if any one us who has not had such an operation can imagine how difficult it must be to watch others around the Thanksgiving table help themselves to large portions, take additional servings and eat as many desserts as are available. The guest with the surgically reduced stomach not only is unable to eat normal-size portions but must also restrict what is eaten to the foods that will nourish his body rather the foods that he may crave. Filling up on stuffing or marshmallow-topped sweet potato pie or onions in cream sauce is not an option when his body needs lean protein. A normal size stomach can handle the turkey and all the side dishes; a surgically reduced stomach may accept only the turkey.
Moreover, those who have had this type of surgery may be reluctant to share this information with others at the table. But then, how to explain the sudden significant decrease in food intake? Several years ago, I noted that a relative who was known for consuming large quantities of food was eating tiny portions, and refusing most of the dishes offered to him. When I asked him if he was not feeling well, he told me about this surgery to reduce the size of his stomach. Suddenly others, overhearing our conversation, threw questions at him so quickly he couldn’t answer them: What was the surgical procedure? Did it hurt? How much weight have you lost so far? What can you eat? Are you hungry? Even though it is no one’s business and the guest should not feel obliged to answer the questions, often, especially when relatives are present, people want their curiosity satisfied.
Fortunately for our guest with the surgically smaller stomach, there are probably others who are also limiting their food intake. Many Thanksgiving dinners will have guests who are avoiding gluten, dairy, meat, all animal products, all carbohydrates, foods without probiotics, cooked foods, certain fruits and vegetables, fat, and salt. Thus several of the diners may be putting only one or two items on their plate, and in some cases guests may even bring their own food because they don’t want to risk eating foods which may make them ill.
But even if the limited food intake due to bariatric surgery is camouflaged by the presence of others who pick, choose, and reject the food being served, the psychological difficulty of not being able to eat freely remains. Portion control is essential as is eating slowly, limiting fluid intake including alcohol so the stomach has room for food, and knowing when to stop eating. This is not easy, and often is accompanied by a sense of loss as acute as that experienced by others…such as a diabetic or someone with certain types of gastrointestinal disorders who must accept that they can no longer eat everything they want.
Perhaps the presence of some guests who cannot indulge in unlimited eating might be a catalyst to decrease the excesses of the Thanksgiving meal. Certainly, one point of the meal is to be thankful that we can feed our families, friends, indeed, those in our community. But feeding one’s guests and feeding them to excess are not the same thing. If we simplify the menu, provide a realistic amount of food, and alter the emphasis from what is on the table to who is around the table, then even those who cannot eat much will not feel deprived.